


Baby, You're a Firework(my fucking heart is about to burst)

by smolchinchillabab



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Angst, Anxious Louie Duck, Fireworks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Louie Duck Has ADHD, Louie Duck Needs a Hug, New Years, Nonbinary Louie Duck, Panic Attacks, Parent Della Duck, This is, Trans Female Huey Duck, Trans Webby Vanderquack, and weblena is basically nonexistent for the whole fic, excuse me why is that not a tag, for a single scene, fuck fireworks, hold hands, honestly all of them are trans those are just the ones mentioned, honestly just a vent fic, i feel like i hella mislead with the ship tags, i hate my neighbors, lowercase fic, my bad - Freeform, shes great and i love her, slander, these are really only mentioned, they just like, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28481574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolchinchillabab/pseuds/smolchinchillabab
Summary: new year's eve sucks when you have anxiety. louie duck can attest to that.
Relationships: Daisy Duck/Donald Duck, Della Duck & Louie Duck, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Lena & Violet Sabrewing & Webby Vanderquack, José Carioca/Donald Duck/Panchito Pistoles, Lena (Disney: DuckTales)/Webby Vanderquack
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	Baby, You're a Firework(my fucking heart is about to burst)

**Author's Note:**

> i projected like fuck in this fic and i don't even care anymore. 
> 
> this fic only exists because on new years eve(last night by the time i'm writing this) i scared myself into thinking that a firework was gonna hit our house and kill my family. yeah it's dumb but i cranked this out in like 4 hours. that's the fastest i've ever wrote 2000+ words. i was gonna post this last night when it hit midnight, but i got hit with an exhaustion train at around 11:30 and couldn't finish editing it.
> 
> it's not the basis of the story, but louie is agender and uses they/them pronouns in here. huey is a trans girl, so she uses she/her. her name isn't changed. webby is also a trans girl, so she/her. dewey definitely is Not Cis, but he uses he/him throughout the fic. lena and violet are she/her, but lena is genderfluid and violet is a trans feminine enby. 
> 
> content warning, about half of this fic is just louie having a panic attack so. there's also mentions of alcohol, unintentional misgendering, and mental health issues so stay safe.

ah, new years. a time for beginnings, a time for celebration, a time for family. a single night where ducklings could stay up till midnight, lest their tired eyes gave up on them, while adults indulged in champagne and mature banter and new years kisses. fantasizing about what was to come in the new year and hoping it was better than the last.

what wasn’t there to love about it?

well, louie duck had some major ducking qualms about it.

it wasn’t the constant social interaction that bothered them, despite their introverted nature. huey and dewey, even uncle donald, had long since stopped being a part of their social drain. webby didn’t take long to stop affecting them either, even though she was very hyperactive. then again, they had lived with dewey for more than 12 years so it wasn’t too surprising. scrooge was also not a cause for drain, since there was a strict ‘no adventuring’ rule set by uncle donald and beakley during holidays(excluding special cases.)

mom, they were still getting used to. to be fair, louie was already pretty emotional drained every time they saw her. having a relative that you thought was dead for 10+ years suddenly spring back into your life at full force was hella overwhelming and louie hadn’t yet found a way to cope.

the sabrewings were also over at the manor for the night, courtesy of lena and violet. louie didn’t really have a problem since lena was also an introvert and hated big social gatherings as much as they did. the older duckling was good to hang out with in a corner when things got too much and share earbuds with. lena did have pretty good music taste, fight the man and rebellion stuff. (louie did like rebellion. it was basically a giant scheme, and believe it or not, they did like schemes more than money. just by a bit.) 

violet was fine. talking with her was a bit too much like talking with huey for their taste, but she was surprisingly adept at scheming for all her textbook knowledge and scientific words. she also helped when they got too in their head and refused to change a plan even if it was flawed. (and she was real fun to mess with about her obvious squish on huey.) they had never really talked to indy and ty sabrewing, except for a really weird experience in which they caught them and dewey chasing a rat(it was mostly dewey chasing while louie sat on the counter and gave him pointers on how to catch it)around their kitchen at 2 am. it had escaped from its cage before they could use it in a ritual that would supposedly bring good fortune and aid in their life dreams(no, the rat was not a blood sacrifice. it’s complicated.)

they hadn’t looked the fathers in the eyes since.

no, they didn’t even hate new years because they hated the smell of alcohol. not because of the gross new years kissing or the hallmark reruns playing constantly in the background. nor the mention of being one year closer to being grown up, being alone, being dead. they didn’t hate it because uncle donald and his boyfriends insisted on singing even if it was grating on the ears while his girlfriend watched them fondly or because mom’s energy levels seemed to rise as they got closer to midnight.

nonononono, this was Worse.

the reason they hated new years?

the. ducking. fireworks.

okay, call them a baby all you want, louie didn’t care. fireworks were Garbage.

as any regular adventurer would do, they associated loud explosion sounds and bright, fiery colors with, well--

EXPLOSIONS AND FIRE!

coupled with the fact that louie already had anxiety and adhd and probably gained a fair share of trauma from adventuring, it was just destined for disaster. the only time worse was the 4th of July. except they weren’t the only one that hated the holiday. scrooge hated it too, but that was because he was scottish, not paranoid.

so that’s why they were holed up in their room, cowering in the bottom bunk with all of the lights on(darkness just made it worse) with a big, clunky pair of gaymer headphones. they were playing lofi music, since that was apparently supposed to make you feel calmer, but it was just setting louie on edge. they tried to think about literally anything but fireworks, and it was kind of working. 

dewey and webby had found a roach living in one of the bathroom sinks and had named it gerald. that wasn’t comforting, since after the Eight-Legged Incident of the Coot treasure hunt, louie was now petrified of anything with more than four limbs. just another fear to add to the wimp list; along with mummies, giant murderous plants, doofus drake, explosions, fire...

okay, fear wasn’t a good thing to think about. think happy thoughts.

there was a new idea for louie inc. in the making that they were sure was gonna make millions. webby was starting to talk about getting on estrogen with her gender therapist. huey had earned another junior woodchucks badge, though she was earning those all the time. uncle donald finally agreed to let dewey start doing community theater with the youth group(not the jesus kind) at the duckburg theater, um--

the popping started. louie turned the music up louder.

they could still hear it.

okay. this was Fine. louie was okay. it was just popping.

_ but what if-- _

mom was getting better at correctly gendering the triplets. she successfully converted from calling them her boys to calling them her kids. she still sometimes slipped up, but she caught herself. louie was thankful she understood immediately when they told her. she had smiled and said, "i love my kids." before crushing them in a bear hug.

_ crushing. a firework hits the roof and the ceiling caves in, crushing their whole family-- _

they were set to go on another adventure soon. they'd had about two weeks off because of vacation, even though louie wanted it to be longer. they weren't that lucky, though.

_ luck. luck could make or break whether or not the mansion exploded from a haywire firework-- _

that doesn't even make sense. a firework couldn't blow up a whole building. it'd more likely that a firework would hit the brickwork of the mansion and just leave a scar.(that came from a part of louie's brain that sounded remarkably like huey. they shivered.)

_ a boiler could explode. a villain could bomb the place. beakley could've left the stove on. anything could happen and, knowing your luck, it probably will. _

louie clutched their frog stuffie, the one that dewey and huey got them for their seventh birthday and they hadn't thrown away since. 

deep breathes. in for four seconds, hold for seven, out for--

the popping got louder. they could barely hear the lofi.

they choked on their breath, and the next inhale  _ burned _ .

suddenly images of a firework crashing through a window and exploding on their family, the manor being there one moment and gone the next with only broken glass and rubble left behind, the house going up in flames while louie watched, unable to move, unable to cry, unable to  _ scream _ filled their head _. _

they bit down on something, and tasted metal.

then the bed jostled, and louie did scream. they pressed their back into the wall, and buried their face in their plushie.

there was a pressure being lifted from around their ears, and they sobbed. a voice was speaking to them.

"louie. i need you to copy my breathing. can you do that?"

louie shook their head, mind still screaming at them. hands pulled their face out of their plushie. they whimpered.

"yes, you can. i believe in you. we all do."

their hand was taken and placed again something warm and solid. it was steadily moving up and down. exaggerated but even breathing followed, encouraging louie to imitate it.

they tried  _ butitburnedlikethemanor-- _

"come on. you can do this, kiddo."

they tried again. it still stung, and they still choked.

again. faint burning, but no choking.

again. they tasted blood and salt.

again. it was becoming easier.

again. louie could almost open their eyes.

again. they peeked open an eye.

mom was sitting in front of them, breathing steadily. _ (she's alive)  _ her hand was holding theirs to her chest and she was trying to look calm, but her eyes betrayed her. they were shiny and glossy, worry and protective maternal instinct ingrained in her gaze.

again. dewey, huey, webby, and lena were standing in the doorway, all with apprehensive but immensely worried expressions. violet could be barely seen behind the crowd, but she was there.

mom noticed louie's open eye, and smiled. "are you back with us, kid?"

louie nods.

"can i get some words for that?"

"'m fine. a bit dizzy, and my fingers hurt...why do my fingers hurt?"

mom smiled, but it was painful. "you should ask your bleeding hand."

they looked down. yerp, their fingers were bleeding. explains the tasting blood. "that'll do it." further down, however, was the green head of their stuffed frog, stained with blood. they grimaced.

i mean, it's not like they didn't know how to get blood out of things, they just didn't want to.

violet came up then, holding a clear glass full of water. she handed it to mom, giving a small and tense smile. 

"water will help with grounding. and i find that i usually have a dry throat after panic attacks."

louie flinched. right, they just had a violent panic attack in front of their friends and family. not the best situation to be in, but they could work with it. 

mom handed them the glass. they downed it in one. it washed down the taste of metal and salt. they reached up a hand, and their cheek was wet. yerp, tears dampened their feathers.

mom stood from her place of kneeling on the floor and plopped next to them. she had to bend over for her head not to hit dewey's bunk. 

they laid their head on her shoulder. it was nice. mom was warm. she smoothed down their feathers.

"do you wanna talk about it?"

louie froze, then shook their head.

"okay," mom said simply.

louie looked over at the crowd still in the doorway. their siblings looked like they were gonna burst into pieces if they didn't move soon. they rolled their eyes, and beckoned them over.

in a split second, huey was bandaging their fingers while dewey was grabbing all the pillows and blankets in the room, definitely to make a pillow fort. webby was by their side and wrapped louie in a secure feeling but loose hug. lena had moved too, albeit a lot slower, and the blankets dewey was carrying were encased in a blue light and they floated out of his hands. violet helped gather the pillows for the fort.

louie had never felt safer.

\--

"so, how'd you know i was having a panic attack?" louie asked later, when the fort was built and they were all cuddled together. at some point, the rest of the adults had moved into the triplets' room and were talking quietly while they waited for midnight. all the kids were still in the fort, with louie laying on their stomach across huey's lap while she and violet talked. dewey was leaning heavily against webby, fighting to keep his eyes open(louie knew he wasn't going to make it till midnight. there was a weird phenomenon that happened every year where dewey would make it to about 5 minutes before the ball dropped and then crash.) webby and lena were sitting next to each other, holding hands.

lena looked up, "i can sense energies, dude. i felt so much negative energy coming from your room that i thought someone was getting murdered. i shadow-traveled and saw you crying and biting your fingers so i went to get your siblings."

huey piped in, "mom followed us because we apparently looked really panicked and she had a feeling something was wrong."

"ah."

"yerp."

"so, would you be comfortable explaining why you had a panic attack?" violet asked, cautiously curious. louie saw her trying to be subtle about it, but webby perked up at knowing what made her sibling so distressed.

"eh."

"you don't have to," huey reminded them.

louie sighed, "might as well. new year, new me, or whatever."

the group immediately focused on them. pfft, curious birds.

"i was…" louie paused, and then groaned, "god, this is so embarrassing."

"if it made you panic, it's not embarrassing," webby argued.

"fine. its...ugh!"

"you don't have to tell us, llewellyn. we understand." violet reassured them

louie glared at her, "you just made it so much worse."

she shrugged.

"okay. i was…i was... _ scaredofthefireworks!" _

"the...fireworks?"

louie sighed, burying their head in their hands, "yeah, i know it's stupid--"

"it's not," webby, huey, and violet all piped in at once.

"--but it makes me think of like, actual life threatening explosions. i keep imagining the house exploding, or someone getting hit with a firework, or-or something else!" they didn't want to look up. "it was better on the houseboat, since we couldn't hear the fireworks really at all because it's illegal to fire them over the water. i could just put in headphones. but now, since we live so high up it's just...too much."

"louie…"

"i know, i’m pathetic."

"you're really not." 

they looked up, and lena was talking to them. "i mean, i still get scared whenever i see a shadow that looks too dark, and i am a shadow. you guys deal with deadly explosions and getting hurt all the time, no wonder you're scared of it." 

huey added, "yeah, it's honestly a bit weird that none of the rest of us are scared of loud noises." 

"we're sorry for not noticing that you were gone sooner," webby told them, looking guilty.

"hey, no, don't do that. it's not your guy's job to deal with my paranoia."

dewey, who was on the verge of sleep, cracked an eye open. "course it 's," he slurred sleepily, reaching out to take louie's hand, "you're our sibling. 's our job to--" he yawned. "--take care of you."

"and even if it wasn't, we'd still do it. because we love you." huey took their other hand, and webby used her free hand to ruffle their feathers. 

louie smiled.

new years still wasn't great. it wasn't even good. but, with their family, it was better. and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> fuck fireworks.


End file.
